I am counting the hours until tomorrow morning! If you know me well, then you know why! I am asking for prayers of patience and health. I will update and share more information with you sometime tomorrow!

We're nearing the end of our off season at home, and I can't help but feel anxious. There are so many changes that accompany the start of this baseball season. Maybe good changes, but maybe scary changes. Only time will tell. In the meantime, we are frantically trying to sell our house here in Florida before we leave town, in hopes that I will not have to return myself with the kids to tie up any loose ends on my own. House showings and Open Houses have given me a couple gray hairs (no joke, I have a few), but I am trying to remain positive that the right person or family will love our home as much as we have. And I pray that this happens in a timely manner, because, let's face it, having to carry a mortgage AND a rent during the season is not easy on the bank account or the spirit. This positive attitude is something that I've had to embrace as of late. With all of the changes in our lives right now, how well would things go if I just sat around and wallowed? Trust me, there are days that I want to; I wish I could just call the Nationals GM and ask him what our fate is with the team, and I wish I could just snap my fingers and have this house packed up completely and sold, and I wish I knew where we were going to live come this Fall when we make the cross-country move to Arizona. But wishing for all of these things really won't get me anywhere. So I think positively. And pray a little too.

Among all of that craziness, I've felt a lot of sadness in these past few months. Sadness for our sweet friends who lost their little baby daughter in December, and sadness now for another family who has lost their sister/daughter/wife, etc. to a pulmonary embolism just days after giving birth to a precious baby girl of her own. These, with other tragic current events, have made my heart heavy. But they have also shown me that there is just no time to waste wallowing in my own personal "what if's" and "I wish's". I am a blessed woman. I have a loving husband, who, despite my many many flaws, loves me anyway. And I have two absolutely beautiful children, who I love so much it aches. And life really is beautiful. All will be okay when we come out on the other side of these trials, no matter what.

So Long, 2010

It's hard to believe we are in our last day of the year. I'm feeling full of reflection as I look back on what seems like such a whirlwind of a year, full of blessings, and lots and lots of trials. It's funny to me that while going through those trials, it never dawns on you that, "Gee, this is rough, but I'm gonna learn a lot from this." You just get through it, grow from it, learn a lesson, and move on. It's not until a day like today where I have a little time to think, amidst the chaos of life with a 2 year-old learning to pee on the potty, and a 1 year-old who's popping out two top molars, that I realize what a real doozy 2010 was.

But it wasn't all bad. Like I said, there were blessings too. I've watched my babies grow into toddlers. I've relearned what it is to be a good wife to my husband. I've learned how important it is not to lose sight of what is real and good. I've decided that I don't care where I live, as long as I have my sweet family there with me, then all is right in the world. And that is just naming a few.

I am going to keep this short, but just want to share a couple of my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Read more

2. Blog more

3. Work harder on my relationship with God

4. Show my husband how much I truly love him. Every day.

5. Be more active with my kids

6. Don't sweat the small stuff

Happy New Year to you all! Here's to a 2011 full of love, health, and happiness, full of blessings!

I promised myself I'd be a more regular poster, but it seems like life just gets in the way sometimes. The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Matt had a pretty awesome April in Harrisburg, PA. He was feeling great, the weather was getting warmer, and we knew lots of positive changes were in store.

On Wednesday the 5th, the kids and I met Matt after the game, and walked to the car together. We got there, and he casually said, "So, I'm throwing on Saturday in DC." I was a little caught off guard, strapping child #1 into her car seat, so it took a moment for that statement to sink in. "OH MY GOSH!!!! HONEY!!!!" I exclaimed! I was SO thrilled for Matt, since I'd seen first hand what a long and hard road it'd been, coming back from his injury. We got in the car and he explained that it wasn't really official "news" yet. He was going to spot start for one of the Nationals' pitchers who was having some elbow soreness, and we'd probably head straight back to Harrisburg after the game. But we were both SO excited that he had been given such an awesome opportunity.

I think a lot about how, when Matt first came into the Nationals organization back in '06, we were both sort of thrown into this whirlwind (let's see how many times I can use that word in one post). We were engaged the following off season, and off we went to our first Spring Training in Florida. He broke camp with the team, and we were on such an adventure that year. Now I can't speak for Matt, but I know that I never really took the time to sit back and soak up all the experiences and REALLY appreciate where we were. I think it's really hard not to take it all for granted, and believe that *this* is how your life will be forever and ever. No one ever expects that they will deal with a career-changing injury and surgery, and that life as you know it would maybe not be the same anymore. I've told a lot of people that I believe Matt had Tommy John in 2008 for some obvious reasons, and for some not-so-obvious reasons. He was able to come home to Viera to rehab, help me close on a house that I'm not sure I could've closed on by myself, be with me during the second half of my first pregnancy, AND spend just about every day with our first-born for most of her first year of life. If it weren't for having surgery, he would've missed all of that. So, there is always a silver lining. After Matt's rehab assignment, we assumed that he would join the team once again in Washington DC, and everything would be back to "normal", but things don't always work out the way you think they will. And even after a great Spring Training this year, things didn't happen the way we thought they would. Matt was back in Double-A level baseball, a level we BOTH thought he'd never see again.

Seeing Matt succeed, and get an opportunity like he had two weeks ago makes all the stress and disappointment and heartache so so SO worth it. Seeing him back on the mound in Nationals Park was awesome! For the first time in a long time, I took a step back and soaked it all up. I felt so proud that I'd seen him come so far. It all really does come full circle.

After the game against the Marlins on the 8th, we drove back to PA. The next day, I dropped Matt of at the stadium on City Island as usual. He called me about an hour later to tell me that he'd been promoted AGAIN (haha) to AAA Syracuse! So I picked him up, we packed everything up, and headed out the next morning. What an adventure this season has been so far!

It's the 20th.

And that means that each of my babies are one month older. Sydnie is 18 months-old, and that makes her an official 1 and a half year-old! It is really hard for me to comprehend the fact that in 6 short months, she will be TWO YEARS OLD! How did this happen?! She has just, in the last week or so, started to say lots of new words. She is currently working on, "happy", "bath", "more", "doggie", and says "hi" loud and clear! And today, my sweet baby boy, Parks is 4 months old. It's been a blur! He's still a little bitty baby, but he is so different than the little bundle I met in december. He is rolling over, grabbing toys and putting them in his mouth, cooing, and cooing LOUDLY! He is ALL boy already... so different from my laid-back first baby. But I looooooove how different they are.

Yesterday, we had so much fun. We went to a cute little place called Playhouse Cafe. It's a little coffee shop that is geared towards parents and their kids. There is a playroom for 2-6 year olds, and a separate room called the "tot spot" for babies to 2 year-olds. Sydnie had a ball, despite the fact that we had missed the big crowd of kids that had been there earlier. (Pictures to come later) I am sure we will be regulars there :-) I also signed Sydnie up for Gymboree this week, and her first class is on Thursday morning! I am so excited for her!!

Attitude Adjustment

I've been really negative lately. Pitifully negative. And I am just not a negative person... realistic yes, but generally positive. And it's amazing how negativity affects your daily life. When I am in a bad mood, the world is against me. Everything goes wrong. I get locked out of my apartment, I spill coffee on my white shirt, my kids are fussy, blah blah blah. I KNOW that everything would seem so much better and easier if I just adjusted my attitude.

Matt and I were talking last night about how a lot of things aren't "fair". How it seems like it's been us against the world lately. We stopped ourselves and realized how awful we sounded. I fell asleep asking for peace when I woke up, just a new outlook, and a little more understanding and patience. And today, I have felt fresh. I have known in my heart through this whole "experience" these past couple weeks that this is all happening for a reason, but it took me until today to just be okay with that. This is all part of the plan for us, and I NEED to learn to sit back and enjoy the ride. I've finally let myself stop hating this place, and this place has stopped hating me back. Here's to more good days to come...

It's that time again...

Where I become a "single mom" for most of six months. And there's nothing like being thrown to the wolves for the first week of the season! Matt has been on the for about 5 days now, which has left me alone with two babies and two dogs. To say that I am tired would be an understatement, but thus is the life of a baseball wife/mama... you just do it.

Let me back up. Matt had a great Spring Training. He is back to feeling like himself again, and has even gained a few MPH on his fastball, which is so exciting. But most importantly, he FELT good. He also, despite one not-so-pretty outing, pitched really well. After his not-so-pretty outing, he was sent down to minor league camp to play with the Syracuse Chiefs (AAA) for the season. He continued to pitch well, and we began making arrangements to live in Syracuse. Spring Training was coming to a close, and we planned to start the drive up north on Sunday the 3rd (Easter Sunday, actually). I was busily getting things packed, when he called me from the field on Saturday morning to tell me that he had been sent down AGAIN. We both felt a whole variety of emotions, ranging from frustrated to hurt to furious. There was just no explanation for this that we could think of. But obviously, these things are out of our control, and there was nothing that we could do other than be mad. I wish I could a little more into detail, but to write about all the politics publicly would be disrespectful. So, our route changed, and we headed to Harrisburg, PA.

Matt is looking forward to his first start of the season in Bowie, MD on Monday. The babies and I will drive out to Bowie (about 2 hours away) to watch the game and stay the night. We are all really looking forward to seeing Daddy!

This week has been a great experience for me, despite the fact that I could use a hand! I feel a new level of confidence as a mom of two under two. I'm sure by the end of the season, I'll need a few days at the spa!