What a day. What. A. Day.

Some days, baseball is such a fun part of our lives. And some days, it feels like baseball is ruining our lives. Today was the latter. We learned that we won't be in Syracuse to start the season afterall, we'll be in Harrisburg again. Feels like a cruel joke, and a totally unwelcomed repeat of last year. I know that things came around last season, and Matt persevered through lots of challenges, and I was SO proud of him. I'm still proud of him! I know that everything will be okay when we come out on the other side of this, and I know that God's hand is in all of this, so I'm trying to remain positive and strong. But it's hard not to say, "This isn't fair." But I guess life just isn't sometimes.

I forget sometimes that a lot of people have no idea what our lives are like. I mean the real daily life as a family in baseball (or any professional sport for that matter). It's fun, but it's really no picnic. Let me just explain. I woke up this morning, bright and early, as is normal for this time of year. Matt and I got the kids ready (still in jammies) to head out the door. We dropped him off at the field just after 7:30 a.m., and went straight to Target where I planned to get some last minute housewares for our awesome apartment in Syracuse that I was really excited about. I found some great deals on plastic dishes, serving utensils, a couple plastic tubs for packing, and a Disney princess toddler air mattress. I got us checked out, and was just about to start loading the car when I noticed I had a missed call from Matt. I called him back as I was wheeling our big, two seater shopping cart the last few steps to the car, and started telling him all about my finds. He paused, and said, "Well..." And I just knew. I said, "Oh no, what happened?" And he said, "We're going back to Harrisburg." UGH. The wind got sucked right out of my sails. I held it together while we finished on the phone, finished loading the car, getting the kids strapped in, and after I wheeled the cart to the cart return, I slammed it to the end. Furious. Frustrated. Sad. How is this fair?! The tears started flowing while we drove back to the house. I unloaded everything, got the kids situated, and set up camp in front of the computer. I had to cancel EVERYTHING. All of my DAYS of research and plans. Where to live that was safe for our family, near shops and activities, a place that was pet friendly, would offer a short term lease, furnishings. Oh, no furnishings? Okay, I'll make arrangements with a rental company. Sign another lease. Etc, etc. Nope, cancel it all. Start over from scratch, this time for an entirely different city, in a state that we only thought we'd have to drive through on our way to where we were going. Not anymore.

I'm trying to look on the bright side. I really am. I count my blessings. OUR blessings. Everyday.

And I know that good things will come of this. I have to believe it at least. Positive thinking, right?

We'll get through it.

Big News!

Well, it took me two days longer to report back than I had planned, but I am excited to say that...

We are having another baby!!!

The news came as a surprise for us at first. A BIG surprise, but we are feeling so very blessed by this little one. I had an ultrasound yesterday, and saw that sweet baby dancing, and flipping, and stretching, and waving its little hands around. I was truly moved to tears. Knowing that the Lord is trusting me with another of His sweet angels is very humbling. And knowing that this little creature could not survivie without me right now is an amazing thought. My body is protecting it, and nourishing it until it's ready to be with us one day. I'm just in awe of the whole process, even with it being my third experience. I could think about it, and talk about it All.Day.Long!

Life continues to keep us busy, and it is pretty amazing how fast my 1st trimester has gone by already! (Well, technically there is another full week before I'm in that glorious 2nd trimester, but close enough, right?!) We have our POD containers being delivered on Monday morning, that we will load up with our entire lives, and have them sent to a PODs storage facility here in Melbourne. Then, when we're ready, we'll have the containers put onto a truck, and driven out to us in Arizona! In the meantime, we continue to pack like crazy! I'm almost thankful that we haven't had a house showing request in the last few days, because I feel like our house has been turned upsidedown lately! And a little good news, although none to get TOO excited about yet: we are waiting to get our first official offer on the house today! Apparently, the buyer just needs to sign the official offer, and then we will start the process. BUT our Realtor, Rhonda, has told us that she doesn't think it's going to be an offer we like. We're trying to think positively though, and the fact that the potential buyer is even making the effort to write up an offer means that they are technically serious, but is probably trying to get a feel for our level of "desperation". I'll post an update as soon as I have one!

I am counting the hours until tomorrow morning! If you know me well, then you know why! I am asking for prayers of patience and health. I will update and share more information with you sometime tomorrow!

We're nearing the end of our off season at home, and I can't help but feel anxious. There are so many changes that accompany the start of this baseball season. Maybe good changes, but maybe scary changes. Only time will tell. In the meantime, we are frantically trying to sell our house here in Florida before we leave town, in hopes that I will not have to return myself with the kids to tie up any loose ends on my own. House showings and Open Houses have given me a couple gray hairs (no joke, I have a few), but I am trying to remain positive that the right person or family will love our home as much as we have. And I pray that this happens in a timely manner, because, let's face it, having to carry a mortgage AND a rent during the season is not easy on the bank account or the spirit. This positive attitude is something that I've had to embrace as of late. With all of the changes in our lives right now, how well would things go if I just sat around and wallowed? Trust me, there are days that I want to; I wish I could just call the Nationals GM and ask him what our fate is with the team, and I wish I could just snap my fingers and have this house packed up completely and sold, and I wish I knew where we were going to live come this Fall when we make the cross-country move to Arizona. But wishing for all of these things really won't get me anywhere. So I think positively. And pray a little too.

Among all of that craziness, I've felt a lot of sadness in these past few months. Sadness for our sweet friends who lost their little baby daughter in December, and sadness now for another family who has lost their sister/daughter/wife, etc. to a pulmonary embolism just days after giving birth to a precious baby girl of her own. These, with other tragic current events, have made my heart heavy. But they have also shown me that there is just no time to waste wallowing in my own personal "what if's" and "I wish's". I am a blessed woman. I have a loving husband, who, despite my many many flaws, loves me anyway. And I have two absolutely beautiful children, who I love so much it aches. And life really is beautiful. All will be okay when we come out on the other side of these trials, no matter what.

So Long, 2010

It's hard to believe we are in our last day of the year. I'm feeling full of reflection as I look back on what seems like such a whirlwind of a year, full of blessings, and lots and lots of trials. It's funny to me that while going through those trials, it never dawns on you that, "Gee, this is rough, but I'm gonna learn a lot from this." You just get through it, grow from it, learn a lesson, and move on. It's not until a day like today where I have a little time to think, amidst the chaos of life with a 2 year-old learning to pee on the potty, and a 1 year-old who's popping out two top molars, that I realize what a real doozy 2010 was.

But it wasn't all bad. Like I said, there were blessings too. I've watched my babies grow into toddlers. I've relearned what it is to be a good wife to my husband. I've learned how important it is not to lose sight of what is real and good. I've decided that I don't care where I live, as long as I have my sweet family there with me, then all is right in the world. And that is just naming a few.

I am going to keep this short, but just want to share a couple of my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Read more

2. Blog more

3. Work harder on my relationship with God

4. Show my husband how much I truly love him. Every day.

5. Be more active with my kids

6. Don't sweat the small stuff

Happy New Year to you all! Here's to a 2011 full of love, health, and happiness, full of blessings!

I promised myself I'd be a more regular poster, but it seems like life just gets in the way sometimes. The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Matt had a pretty awesome April in Harrisburg, PA. He was feeling great, the weather was getting warmer, and we knew lots of positive changes were in store.

On Wednesday the 5th, the kids and I met Matt after the game, and walked to the car together. We got there, and he casually said, "So, I'm throwing on Saturday in DC." I was a little caught off guard, strapping child #1 into her car seat, so it took a moment for that statement to sink in. "OH MY GOSH!!!! HONEY!!!!" I exclaimed! I was SO thrilled for Matt, since I'd seen first hand what a long and hard road it'd been, coming back from his injury. We got in the car and he explained that it wasn't really official "news" yet. He was going to spot start for one of the Nationals' pitchers who was having some elbow soreness, and we'd probably head straight back to Harrisburg after the game. But we were both SO excited that he had been given such an awesome opportunity.

I think a lot about how, when Matt first came into the Nationals organization back in '06, we were both sort of thrown into this whirlwind (let's see how many times I can use that word in one post). We were engaged the following off season, and off we went to our first Spring Training in Florida. He broke camp with the team, and we were on such an adventure that year. Now I can't speak for Matt, but I know that I never really took the time to sit back and soak up all the experiences and REALLY appreciate where we were. I think it's really hard not to take it all for granted, and believe that *this* is how your life will be forever and ever. No one ever expects that they will deal with a career-changing injury and surgery, and that life as you know it would maybe not be the same anymore. I've told a lot of people that I believe Matt had Tommy John in 2008 for some obvious reasons, and for some not-so-obvious reasons. He was able to come home to Viera to rehab, help me close on a house that I'm not sure I could've closed on by myself, be with me during the second half of my first pregnancy, AND spend just about every day with our first-born for most of her first year of life. If it weren't for having surgery, he would've missed all of that. So, there is always a silver lining. After Matt's rehab assignment, we assumed that he would join the team once again in Washington DC, and everything would be back to "normal", but things don't always work out the way you think they will. And even after a great Spring Training this year, things didn't happen the way we thought they would. Matt was back in Double-A level baseball, a level we BOTH thought he'd never see again.

Seeing Matt succeed, and get an opportunity like he had two weeks ago makes all the stress and disappointment and heartache so so SO worth it. Seeing him back on the mound in Nationals Park was awesome! For the first time in a long time, I took a step back and soaked it all up. I felt so proud that I'd seen him come so far. It all really does come full circle.

After the game against the Marlins on the 8th, we drove back to PA. The next day, I dropped Matt of at the stadium on City Island as usual. He called me about an hour later to tell me that he'd been promoted AGAIN (haha) to AAA Syracuse! So I picked him up, we packed everything up, and headed out the next morning. What an adventure this season has been so far!

It's the 20th.

And that means that each of my babies are one month older. Sydnie is 18 months-old, and that makes her an official 1 and a half year-old! It is really hard for me to comprehend the fact that in 6 short months, she will be TWO YEARS OLD! How did this happen?! She has just, in the last week or so, started to say lots of new words. She is currently working on, "happy", "bath", "more", "doggie", and says "hi" loud and clear! And today, my sweet baby boy, Parks is 4 months old. It's been a blur! He's still a little bitty baby, but he is so different than the little bundle I met in december. He is rolling over, grabbing toys and putting them in his mouth, cooing, and cooing LOUDLY! He is ALL boy already... so different from my laid-back first baby. But I looooooove how different they are.

Yesterday, we had so much fun. We went to a cute little place called Playhouse Cafe. It's a little coffee shop that is geared towards parents and their kids. There is a playroom for 2-6 year olds, and a separate room called the "tot spot" for babies to 2 year-olds. Sydnie had a ball, despite the fact that we had missed the big crowd of kids that had been there earlier. (Pictures to come later) I am sure we will be regulars there :-) I also signed Sydnie up for Gymboree this week, and her first class is on Thursday morning! I am so excited for her!!