Attitude Adjustment

I've been really negative lately. Pitifully negative. And I am just not a negative person... realistic yes, but generally positive. And it's amazing how negativity affects your daily life. When I am in a bad mood, the world is against me. Everything goes wrong. I get locked out of my apartment, I spill coffee on my white shirt, my kids are fussy, blah blah blah. I KNOW that everything would seem so much better and easier if I just adjusted my attitude.

Matt and I were talking last night about how a lot of things aren't "fair". How it seems like it's been us against the world lately. We stopped ourselves and realized how awful we sounded. I fell asleep asking for peace when I woke up, just a new outlook, and a little more understanding and patience. And today, I have felt fresh. I have known in my heart through this whole "experience" these past couple weeks that this is all happening for a reason, but it took me until today to just be okay with that. This is all part of the plan for us, and I NEED to learn to sit back and enjoy the ride. I've finally let myself stop hating this place, and this place has stopped hating me back. Here's to more good days to come...

It's that time again...

Where I become a "single mom" for most of six months. And there's nothing like being thrown to the wolves for the first week of the season! Matt has been on the for about 5 days now, which has left me alone with two babies and two dogs. To say that I am tired would be an understatement, but thus is the life of a baseball wife/mama... you just do it.

Let me back up. Matt had a great Spring Training. He is back to feeling like himself again, and has even gained a few MPH on his fastball, which is so exciting. But most importantly, he FELT good. He also, despite one not-so-pretty outing, pitched really well. After his not-so-pretty outing, he was sent down to minor league camp to play with the Syracuse Chiefs (AAA) for the season. He continued to pitch well, and we began making arrangements to live in Syracuse. Spring Training was coming to a close, and we planned to start the drive up north on Sunday the 3rd (Easter Sunday, actually). I was busily getting things packed, when he called me from the field on Saturday morning to tell me that he had been sent down AGAIN. We both felt a whole variety of emotions, ranging from frustrated to hurt to furious. There was just no explanation for this that we could think of. But obviously, these things are out of our control, and there was nothing that we could do other than be mad. I wish I could a little more into detail, but to write about all the politics publicly would be disrespectful. So, our route changed, and we headed to Harrisburg, PA.

Matt is looking forward to his first start of the season in Bowie, MD on Monday. The babies and I will drive out to Bowie (about 2 hours away) to watch the game and stay the night. We are all really looking forward to seeing Daddy!

This week has been a great experience for me, despite the fact that I could use a hand! I feel a new level of confidence as a mom of two under two. I'm sure by the end of the season, I'll need a few days at the spa!

Well, yet again, it's been too long since my last post. We've been super busy since then! We're already halfway through Spring Training, believe it or not! Matt is feeling great, and we will be heading to Syracuse, NY in just a few short weeks. The thought of uprooting my little family is a little unsettling, but I know we'll be just fine.

Sydnie is learning more and more every day. She is still not talking, but communicates very well with us. We are both so ready for her to start picking up on words, but know that it will happen when she's ready.

Parker is getting bigger and bigger by the day. He's now smiling ALL the time, and cooing a lot. He just melts my heart. He's no longer spitting up, and has settled down so much. He's had a cold this week, that he brought home from California with us (nice little souvenir, huh?), that's finally starting to go away.

I am doing great, and am staying super busy with all the happenings that this time of year brings. The kids and I just got back from a quick trip to California for Grandma Dolores' 80th birthday celebration. It was WONDERFUL to see so much family while we were there, some of whom had never even met Sydnie before! I came down with an awful 24 hour bug while we were there, and it was family to the rescue! Parker and Sydnie were loved on by lots of Great Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, Great Grandparents, and Grandparents! The flights there and back were, in hindsight, not SO bad. But I will tell you for sure that that is a trip I will not be making alone with 2 kids for a LONG time! I will say that I feel like I earned some serious stripes after that though!

Before I get to pictures of the babies, I want to share my weight loss progress with you. I started Nutrisystem on February 18th, and have lost 10 pounds since then! I am officially halfway to my goal of 125 pounds (10 more pounds to go!). I haven't really noticed any drastic changes, but I took my "midway point pictures" today, and I'd say the photos speak for themselves. I'm so excited to see what the "end result pictures" look like!

Check it out...

February 18 (Starting Point- 2 months postpartum, and still looking 4 months pregnant! Yikes!)
March 20th (Midway Point- 3 months postpartum)

Oh, I CRINGE looking at those starting point pictures, and really wasn't sure I wanted to share, BUT I don't look like that anymore! YAY!

Anyway, life is good for the Chicos right now! Matt and I found a wonderful babysitter/ nanny named Chyna who LOVES our babies. Chyna comes for a few hours twice a week, and also once a week so we can have a "date night". It has been so much fun getting to "date" again!

And now for some pictures of the little ones!

I'm Terrible

I REALLY am. I have got to start making more of an effort to blog more often! I know that you'll all forgive my lack of correspondence lately, but I still feel badly for not at least posting some recent photos!

Anyway, Sydnie is 16 months, and Parker is 2 months! Where does the time go? Seriously. That phrase, and others like, "Gosh, they just grow up so fast" just didn't sink in thoroughly until I had children. Time is truly the enemy for me. It excites me so much when either of my babies do something new and great, but there's a little part of me that just wants to cry because there is no way for me to keep them little! I have days where I would give anything for them to just be independent, and days when I am literally "touched out"- SOMEONE is always needing to be cuddled, nursed, wiped, dressed, rocked, held, kissed, blah blah blah! But based on how fast the first year of motherhood has gone by for me, I know that the next 2, 5, and 10 years will go just as fast. So, I cherish the peaceful moments. And when I think about it, I cherish the crazy and stressful moments too, because I'll never have them again. I will never have a chubby, cuddly, colicky, sweet, and soft 2 month-old Parker again. And I will never have a silly, lovey, cute, sassy, petite little 16 month-old Sydnie again. That puts it all into perspective, huh?

Sydnie is such a funny little thing. She's at a stage that is ALL about testing limits. The "do you see me touching this thing I'm not supposed to be touching?" stage. Yeah, that one. She keeps us on our toes, but it is so much fun. She isn't saying a lot yet, but when asked what a doggie says, she goes, "Mmph, mmph" (kind of a closed-mouth dog bark), and when asked what a kitty says, she'll answer, "Woooooooowwwwwww.: Adorable. She understands EVERYTHING we say too. When asked to bring Mama various items, for the most part, she will. She's my little helper. And she loves her Parker. She loves to point to his nose, and pet his hair, and also has a new-found love for pacifiers... funny how it took her 16 months to figure that one out. I do lots of washing of the pacis!

Parker is slowly growing out of the colic. It was a BLUR of a two months, but we made it through. He and I are still up through the night... sometimes we get a 5 hour stretch, and we have gotten 6 hours once, but it's mostly every 3 hours. I am obviously past the point of exhaustion, but don't really remember what it's like to be fully rested anymore, so I'm doing okay!! I am fueled by coffee though. Parker is smiley and sweet, in spite of it all though! He LOVES to look at the ceiling fan, and will smile and coo at it for quite awhile sometimes. He loves being on his tummy (sometimes I think it's mostly because it makes his reflux feel a little better, poor guy). He had his 2 month well check this morning, and weighed in at a VERY healthy 12 pounds, 2 ounces, and is 23.5 inches long. Where did my little newborn go?

Matt is great. Spring Training is in full swing, although games haven't started yet. His arm is feeling awesome, and he is so ready for the season to start! I am excited for baseball to get underway again too, but I still have yet to figure out how I'll manage in the stands with TWO little babies. Lots of trial and error, I would imagine, and lots of laps around the stadium in the stroller too probably! The one thing that is SO wonderful about this time of year is the priceless support I get from other baseball wives/ moms. It is so good to not be the only one on the room chasing after a wild toddler, or lugging around a screaming infant! I have a great feeling about things to come this year, and that includes the group of girls I will have the pleasure of being around!

OH! I guess I should also update you all on my quest for "Wedding Day Skinny", right? I'm down another 4 pounds! Maybe I'll be able to wear a bikini this summer! We'll see!

Eff You, Reflux.

That's pretty much how I feel about acid reflux.

I had horrible cases of it while I was pregnant with both kids, and now my poor boy has it too. So I could only imagine how much his little chest and throat were burning, if it took me down the way it did. I tried just about every "natural" approach I found, but not much worked for Parker. I finally gave up, and took him to our pediatrician, Dr. Lee. She suggested a teaspoon of rice cereal for every ounce of milk he drank. I am almost exclusively breastfeeding, other than the occasional pumped bottle of milk, so I wondering how in the world I was going to pull off the rice cereal approach. I tried it at one feeding, and hated it. And I could tell that Parks wasn't a fan either. So onto step one thousand and two. Dr. Lee prescribed Zantac for Little Man. I didn't love the idea of a prescription drug for my one month-old, but she assured me that it was 100% safe. Parks has done pretty well on the Zantac so far, and seems to be quite a bit happier. And this makes for one happy mama.

We are still not sleeping though. Well, two out of the four Chicos are sleeping well, but I am part of the half that is not. It's SO HARD not to compare Parker to Sydnie because, well, they are two totally different children, but by the 6 week mark with Sydnie we were getting at least one 5 hour stretch. Not so much this time around. My longest stretch of sleep in the last month and a half has been 3 hours! (Insert crying emoticon here). I have been really surprised by how much more of a challenge things are this time. But as teenagers, it'll be Sydnie giving us a run for our money, and Parker will be a breeze, right? Haha.

ANYWAY, other than our adventures in newborn baby-hood, all is well! I have finally started venturing out with both babies... ALONE. It can get a little hairy, but I manage. The countdown to Spring Training has officially started... about 3 weeks to go! I can tell Matt is getting excited. And I have lost 3 pounds! WOO HOO!!

I took these pictures the other day...

(Sydnie, 15 months, and Parker, 5 weeks. By the way, Parks was 10 pounds, 10 ounces the other day!!)

Getting Back At It

I have a quiet moment. Sydnie is napping, and so is Parker... at the same time. Big accomplishment on my part? I think so!

So far, adding a second baby to the mix has not been the easiest of transitions, but it gets a little better every day. My biggest challenge has been scheduling and routines. It was amazing to me how long it used to take to get out of the house with just one child, but with a second, I can almost guarantee that the Chico family will NEVER be anywhere on time again. I have, however, managed to get out on a nice long walk with both kids and the dogs for to days in a row, and at the same time both days! This is big. This means that the first 3-4 hours of my day has been right on schedule TWICE now! Let's see how the rest of the day starts to fall into place.

I'm also excited to report that one of my main New Year's resolutions is to get "wedding day skinny" again. 2010 is the year that I will reclaim my size 27 jeans, and things will be firm, and toned again. To reach this goal, I recently signed up for Weight Watchers Online, and have been pretty vigilant about getting a good workout in every day. The task sometimes feels daunting, and I get a little down when I see the number on the scale NOT going down (better to stay the same then to go up, though, right?), but I know that I can and will make this happen! I look forward to keeping you updated on my progress!

Here are the stats:

Goal weight: 125

Current weight: 145

Goal pant/ clothes size: 27/ Small

Current pant/ clothes size: 29/ Medium

And here's my motivation:

This picture was taken on our Honeymoon, and just about a month before I got pregnant with Sydnie!

OK, that's all for now. I need to take advantage of this quiet time while it lasts.

Welcome to the World, Parks!

(Reader Beware: LONG post, and possibly TMI)

It's so funny to me that my last post was just 2 days before I went into labor, and even funnier that I said that I hoped my next post would be news of the birth of our boy! Well, somebody get me a crystal ball because I must be a fortune teller!

I had a weekly OB appointment on the morning of December 18th, and was not thrilled about it, since Dr. Benezra was out of town and I had to see a different doctor. I got myself ready to go anyway, got Sydnie ready for a nap, kissed Matt goodbye, and was off to the doctor's office. I got in right away, and it was business as usual; you know, step on scale to see ungodly number, pee in cup, etcetera, etcetera. I saw my usual nurse, Kaitleen, and I told her that Dr. Benezra had said at my previous visit that he'd "sweep my membranes" for me. (Membrane Sweep). Kaitleen said that the other doctor would happily do that for me, if I wanted her to. The doctor saw me right away, and I asked a couple of questions that she answered for me, and she did an exam. Sure enough, I was STILL only 1 cm. dilated. She asked me if I'd like her to sweep my membranes, and after considering this for a moment, and how terribly uncomfortable I was, AND the fact that my next appointment wasn't going to be until CHRISTMAS EVE, I said yes. The reason for my hesitation, though, was that since Dr. Benezra was out of town, I could potentially be delivered by a "stranger" if the membrane sweep worked. BUT since I was told that I had a "50/ 50 chance" of going into labor after a membrane sweep, I just KNEW I would be part of the 50% that it didn't work for. So onward we went with the membrane sweep. It was not nearly as horrible as I had heard it was, and was a great opportunity for me to practice some relaxation techniques. The doctor finished, we said our goodbyes, and I went to the front desk to book my next appointment. I called Matt, and told him that this baby was just not going to budge, and I had a feeling he'd be late. I had completely bummed myself out, so I went for a chai tea latte and a mani/ pedi to lift my spirits.

At the nail salon, I was as usual, the center of attention and got one million questions like, "When are you due?" "How far along are you?" and, "You MUST be having a boy, since you are ALL belly!" I was used to this at that point, and answered cordially with a smile, despite the fact that I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. I thought to myself that MAYBE that doctor had done just the trick, and had gotten things moving for me. I even asked my nail tech to spend some extra time during my foot massage on my ankles (certain pressure points in the ankles can stimulate uterine contractions) ;-)

After the nail salon, I headed home to get the house tidied up, since Ashley and Chrissy were coming over for a girls' night. Ashley was bringing takeout from one of our favorite little Italian places, Amici's, and we were going to hang out, chat, and watch a movie. I started to feel a little lazy while I was cleaning, so I laid down on the couch to take a little cat nap. I woke up to my first contraction around 5 p.m. It wasn't anything terribly painful, but it was enough for me to take notice, so I opened up my handy iPhone app., "Contraction Master". It helps to time the duration, and time between labor contractions. At that point, they seemed to be averaging between 6 and 10 minutes apart, so I told Matt that he may not be able to golf the next day after all! Ashley and Chrissy arrived at 7, and while the contractions were still coming, I was too preoccupied to pay much attention. That all changed just before midnight.

Ashley and Chrissy had gone home, and Matt had gone to bed, JUST IN CASE he was able to golf the next day. I stayed awake on the couch, timing my contractions, watching reruns on Jersey Shore, and chatting with the girls on my message board to pass the time. I let a couple hours go by. By 1:30 or 2 in the morning, I thought it was probably time to wake Matt and maybe head to the hospital, since the contractions were now between 3 and 5 minutes apart, and we had almost a 30 minute drive to the hospital. I quickly printed out a few copies of our birth plan and called Ashley, and asked her to come over to keep an ear out for Sydnie through the night. She happily agreed. And as soon as she arrived, Matt and I threw my bags in the car, and were on our way!

We got to the hospital at 2:30 or so. We were greeted by a very friendly staff, and were shown to a Labor and Delivery room (their triage unit in L&D is only open during the day), where I changed into a very fashionable nightgown. A sweet nurse named Heather got me all set up with a fetal heart rate monitor, and a contraction monitor. My contractions were certainly strong, sometimes topping the charts, but my cervix was not making any changes. Heather suggested that we walk the halls in an attempt to get my cervix to open up a bit. After walking for over an hour, and squatting for awhile at my bedside, Heather checked me again. Still no changes. I was SO frustrated. Heather said that it would be best for us to head back home, try to get some rest, and come back when I was "huffing and puffing" through my contractions. So, I got dressed, and we left the hospital with no baby :-(

We got home just after 5 a.m. and were able to sleep until Sydnie woke up around 8. No rest for the weary!! I hopped in the shower, put some makeup on, and headed to the couch where we set up camp for the better part of the day. Sweet Sydnie was so patient with us all day, and played in her play pen while we rested, and I battled contractions. Finally that afternoon, I started to feel a shift in the contractions. They were getting stronger and much more painful. Matt suggested that I sit on the birthing ball, for a change of scenery. He rubbed my back, and helped me through the pain. When he felt like my pain was getting to be too much, he called Tina and Ryan and asked if we could bring Sydnie over for the night. We got BACK in the car, dropped Sydnie off with Tina and Ryan, and headed back down to the hospital for attempt number two.

When we got to L&D, we were greeted by our sweet nurse from the night before, Heather! She got me all situated again, and checked my cervix. I had made progress!! Heather said that I was dilated to 3-4 cm., and would finally be able to be admitted officially! I was so thrilled knowing that I would not leave the hospital again without our baby! We walked the halls again for a couple hours, and admired the newborns in the nursery window. I just couldn't believe that we were going to have such a little bitty baby again! When we made it back to our delivery room, Heather checked me again, and I hadn't made much of a change. I was a little disappointed, but told her that I KNEW that as soon as my water broke, labor would progress really quickly, since that's exactly what happened with Sydnie. Heather called the doctor who was on call that night, Dr. McTammany, to see what he had to say about my progress. When Heather came back, she reported that Dr. McTammany was at a Christmas party, but would be happy to stop by the hospital after his party to break my water. Hooray!

Dr. McTammany arrived just before midnight, and got down to business right away. He examined me, and said that the baby's head was still pretty high, so I wouldn't have a "gush" when he broke my water. He was right. Just a small trickle. Then another trickle. Then with my next two contractions, I GUSHED. My contractions immediately got VERY intense, and I felt Parks' head move down. I HAD to get out of bed after laboring on my back for a short time, as I was far too uncomfortable laying down. Heather suggested sitting on the birthing ball for a bit. I thought for sure I would love that idea, since I bounced on my birthing ball at home religiously. Well, I was WRONG. I was back up as soon as I had sat down- I HATED IT. Heather thought fast, and leaned me over the edge of the bed, so that I could labor on my feet a bit. I lasted this way for 3 or 4 contractions, until my knees felt like they were going to give out. Heather then suggested a reclining chair. This I liked. I swayed back and forth during contractions, and was able to lean back in the chair during breaks. I labored this way for about an hour. I felt so out of control of my contractions. In my head, I was calm; I told myself that I was stronger than these pains, and that I could DO THIS. But my body wasn't listening. The pain was so intense, and my breathing was so irregular. I told Matt and Heather that I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I wanted desperately to give up. I was crying, sweating, shaking, and I felt like I needed to throw up. Matt was AMAZING. He was so strong for me, telling me to "beat this one", "you're doing so good", and "that's one contraction closer to the end." I mean, seriously incredible. Heather, a three-time natural childbirth-er, was also very encouraging, telling me to focus on my breathing. She decided she should check my cervix, just to make sure I was making progress. She looked me in the eye and said, "You're 7-8 centimeters dilated." I knew then that there was no going back! I didn't have an IV in, by choice, and had even declined a saline lock, so even if I WANTED to get something for the pain, it was too late (since an IV or epidural would have to be administered, which would take too long at that point). I knew I had reached the "transition" part of labor, which was the hardest and most intense part. But I also knew that I was SO CLOSE to having our baby.

Heather had me get through two more contractions before having me move to the bed. She checked me again, and I was already 9-10 cm, with just a small ring of my cervix left. I told her that I HAD to push, but she said that we needed to wait until the rest of my cervix was complete. My body had other plans. Despite my best efforts to wait, I could feel my body pushing Parker down. I yelled, and groaned, and a nurse who was getting things ready for the birth told me, "No more noise now, Stephanie!" I was too distracted to be be mad at her for that. Dr. McTammany arrived right on time. He said to a nurse, "Well, she was right! She knew she'd go quick after her water broke!" The nurses got me prepped, and ready to push, and away I went. I pushed with all my might, and the "ring of fire" that so many speak of was evident. Parker crowned right away. I'll never forget how much it hurts, and how good it feels all at the same time, pushing my baby out, and being able to feel EVERYTHING.

With three pushes, and in three minutes, Parker Bryan Chico was born at 2:17 a.m. on December 20th. He came after 32 hours of labor, but just 2 hours after my water broke! I felt AMAZING having my son on the outside of me! He cried SO loud, and was so alert that he even grasped onto the scissors that were going to be used to cut his umbilical cord! Up onto my chest he came, and I felt my heart double in size. I didn't think I could love anyone as much as Sydnie, but as soon as I saw Parks' face, those doubts disappeared. He weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces, and was 20 inches long, and he was PERFECT.

The three of us were able to spend the next hour alone together. Parker nursed, and we just looked at eachother. After our bonding time, Parker went in for his first bath, and I was moved to a Mother/Baby suite. Matt went home to get some sleep, and get ready to pick Sydnie up later that morning, and I did my best to sleep for the first time in two days.

After a short stay in the hospital, we were able to go home after just 30 hours. It felt so good to get home, and have all of us together just in time for Christmas.

Life as a family of four has been an adjustment to say the least, but after almost a month of getting used to it, I'm happy to say that things are getting better and better by the day!

More to come later, but for now, here are some pictures!